Kurds - Marriage and Family

Kurdish marriages are arranged between the families of the bride and groom. Ideally, a man will marry his father's brother's daughter, to whom he has "first rights." The majority of Kurdish marriages in the 1960s were reported to be between the children of two brothers. This lineage endogamy "keeps the family together" but also weakens the ties between lineages, thus increasing the likelihood of conflict. If marriage to father's brother's child is not possible, the next best choice is one of the other cousins.

Marriage negotiations are first carried out between the women of the two families, and then finalized by the men when a marriage settlement is drawn up. It states the size of the bride-wealth and how it will be used. If the groom does not pay the agreed-upon bride-wealth or does not support and clothe her according to the standards of her own family, the bride has grounds for divorce. The only other way she may obtain divorce is by repayment in full of the bride-wealth, unless otherwise stipulated in the marriage settlement. The man may divorce his wife merely by renouncing her three times.

According to the Quran, a man may have up to four wives provided he can support them all and spends equal time with each; however, few men can afford even two wives. A childless marriage is the most common grounds for divorce or the taking of a second wife.

The wedding entails the fetching of the bride to the groom's home, where the new couple will live until they establish their own home. A Kurdish household thus consists of a man, his wife (or wives), children, and eventually daughters-in-law and grandchildren. In the case of polygyny, each wife may have her own section of the house, which she runs independently.

Inheritance from the father is divided equally between the sons. Daughters do not inherit.