Tor - Marriage and Family

Marriage. Marriage, viewed as an economic institution, is indispensable to the status and very survival of a male. By the time he is considered marriageable, at about age 23, his mother is usually dead and his sisters are married; without a wife he has no source of sago, for which he is expected to reciprocate fish and pork. Young women generally marry when they are age 17 to 22 after complex negotiations, especially involving the elder brothers of the pair. The ideal arrangement is sister exchange (although the "sister" may be any kinswoman younger than the male giver), and in principle all four parties must agree to the union, with the potential bride being free to refuse. Especially given the demographic situation in recent decades, the exchange is not usually immediate and simultaneous, but if it is not the groom must periodically give gifts to his wife's elder brothers. In contrast to the ideal, however, elopement and "love marriages" based on personal attraction are frequent; elopement with a wife deserting one man for another is the only way, apart from death, by which a marriage may be dissolved. Again because of the masculinization of the population, about 30 percent of the men are unable to marry and become permanent bachelors. Despite this fact, polyandry is not allowed (although any woman may have sexual intercourse with her husband's brothers), but about 20 percent of the men are polygynous. These, however, are nearly always older men with old wives, who would be destitute without viable sources of sago; indeed, polygyny is regarded as a sign of weakness on the part of a man. A strong preference for tribal endogamy (marrying classificatory Siblings and cousins) results in about 90 percent of marriages taking place between members of the same community. In cases of village exogamy, the ideal is for the couple to reside virilocally, but given the need for access to sago, uxorilocality is about equal in frequency.

Domestic Unit. The nuclear family is clearly distinguishable throughout the region, but two main forms of household are found. Among the Mander the nuclear family forms an independent unit, with its members residing all in one house (including older cowives, though usually not younger ones) and sharing gardening and child-care tasks. In the other groups, the "domestic family" or "fraternal joint family" is the domestic and economic unit, usually with brothers and their families sharing a house and gardens and moving together in the nomadic food quest.

Inheritance. A person inherits rights to territory from both father and mother, and usually before death rights to sago or fruit trees are bequeathed to one's children or siblings and dogs are given to the sons or younger brothers of their male owners. Otherwise, at death all of a person's possessions are destroyed: a man's arrows are broken and burned; pigs are killed and the meat fed to dogs; and fruit trees are cut down.

Socialization. Among the Mander, who have access to the most sago, children are looked after by men while their wives are off processing sago. Elsewhere, women who are currently in the village look after all of the children while some of the working women are working in sago groves and men are hunting in the forest.